Jun. 23, 2002 - 3:51 am

*personal moment (unfortunately not film related)

i usually try not to do this, but due to extenuating factors i'm making an allowance just this once for a personal entry. for a couple of weeks i stopped reading a friend's journal. i actually stopped my attempts to see her and talk to her altogether. my reasoning was that i felt like i was doing everything and not getting a lot in return. you know when you start to like someone, you just expect that you'll see them a lot. and if they like you, they'll make equally significant attempts to contact you, meet you places, spend time with you, etc. i started to get weirded out that in my current situation it was all just coming from me alone. now granted i probably expect a little more equality in a relationship than many guys. i expect the girl to chase me just as much as i chase her. i'm not the type of guy that can bear the entire load myself. and i surely don't want to. i need reassurances. probably more than most. and when i make plans with someone that are constantly falling through, and then the girl doesn't try to come up with a good replacement event at some point i feel really disappointed. maybe i'm a wuss, i don't know. i don't think so. i expect her to want to see me, and to try to find things for us to do together if we're going to have a relationship at any point. i have a really good time with this girl and we have a lot of stuff in common and i like her a lot. but she still hasn't gotten in contact with me since i stopped trying to contact her a week or two ago if that says anything. her diary entries would lead me to the conclusion that she might still be interested, but her actions say otherwise. waiting by the phone...

soundtrack for the evening: Dashboard Confessional "Again I Go Unnoticed"

this will probably be the one and only personal entry you'll ever see here. i hope it doesn't piss my readers off. as i said, it's a unique situation.